Amsterdam. We spoke with our lawyer this week, after receiving the letter from the US immigration authorities telling Martha that her spouse was a woman and therefore our petition for a green card would be denied.
There are so many interesting inconsistencies in the letter that and it is clear the law simply has to change. For starters, the letter acknowledges that Martha has a spouse. It also acknowledges that that would not be a problem for the immigration authorities, were it not that DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act) specifically prescribes that only people of an opposite sex to each other can be seen as spouses.
We talked with our lawyer, Lavi Soloway, and we agreed we will appeal the decision to deny our petition. We are deeply concerned that the United States government is willing to deny two people who love each other and who are legally married to each other from being part of the great project that the founders of the USA embarked on and on which the Constitution is founded. The decision is bad for us and thousands like us - people who want to participate in civil life in the same way as our siblings can. It is also just not a good basis for establishing community. It is an appalling message to all citizens that the people who are welcome to immigrate are diverse, but not if they are in love with and married to a US citizen of the same sex. The message goes even further and says "we prefer losing the US citizen than acknowledging the marriage".
That just doesn't fit with how people think about marriage these days. And any representative of the people must speak out and be part of the movement to change the law that keeps US citizens outside the country they were born in, simply to be with their spouse.
Our lawyer wants us to have the opportunity to speak with the authorities and at least put our request for a green card into process.
What can other people do? They can let their elected representative know that bills that will allow, when passed, love exiles to return home must be supported and pushed through congress.
Laws are an instrument to us getting our rights. They are not the be all and end all. To be equal we have to live in equality. So besides changing laws, we need to be visible in our communities, making our issues a shared concern. So that is the second thing people can do: talk about this issue. Let people know how it affects you and your family. Great the environment of support and caring that we want for all of us.
I loved the words Obama spoke at the inauguration, repeatedly: We the people. Nothing will change without us changing it. Moaning and feeling sad and cut out won't help. What will help is causing the change you want to happen. It is up to we the people to do that.
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